Bar Wars VIII: The War Within
by BostonBabe
Summary: Rebecca thinks she may have some feelings for Sam when she is jealous because Sam has been spending all of his time talking to a woman he met over the internet. Sam must choose between Rebecca and the mystery internet woman but his decision is made much m
1. Default Chapter

Bar Wars: The War Within 

Chapter One: Planting the seed 

(Cheers, 2003, the bar has just opened and is still pretty much empty. Sam and Woody are behind the bar cleaning glasses Norm is already there sitting at his usual stool and Carla has yet to arrive. Rebecca comes in looking tired.) 

Rebecca: (hanging up her coat) Hi Sam, hi Woody, Norm. 

Sam: Hey Rebecca, you're here early. 

Rebecca: (walks over to the bar and leans on it a few seats to the right of Norm) Well yeah, you know (sighs). Just thought I'd come in and get an early start. 

Woody: Oh so you're still looking for that job then Ms.... uh- Mrs.... 

Rebecca: (waving her hand in front of her with a look of mild annoyance) Woody I've been telling you for years now, just call me Rebecca. 

Woody: I don't think I could do that. What should I call you? 

Rebecca: Woody just call me Ms. Howe. 

Woody: Okay Ms. Howe (returns to drying the glass he was previously drying). 

Sam: So Rebecca how's everyone taking all this divorce stuff? 

Rebecca: (sighing) You mean Matt and Tyler? 

(Sam nods but doesn't look up from the glass he's cleaning) 

Rebecca: Better than I am it seems. I feel terrible for putting them through all this. I've just felt so guilty lately. You know yesterday I bought Matt a new video game and Tyler "Finding Nemo". It's just hard getting through this. 

Sam: Yeah well just remember we're all here for you. You'll get through this, hang in there (he pats her on the shoulder). Speaking of the boys, how's Matt's fast ball coming? 

Rebecca: (looking up from the paper she was flipping through) Well Don hasn't been home much and you know I can't help him with that sort of thing. 

Sam: Well uh- maybe I could come over and work with him sometime. 

Rebecca: (looks directly into his eyes) I'm sure he'd like that (half smile). 

Sam: O- (he is interrupted as Carla comes in) 

Woody: 'Sup Carla? 

Carla: (in an angry tone) Woody what did I tell you about using that stupid rapper talk with me? 

Woody: Okay, okay just thought I'd try it out. Jessica came home the other day talking like that, said one of the girls at school told her that was cool. I'll tell ya' if anyone of us kids would've tried that in Hanover... 

Cliff:(who's since come in but has been listening quietly to the conversation around him) Ah kids today. What's happened? All this slang terms and rap, what's the world coming to? 

Sam: I agree Cliff. I mean when did things get so complicated? I tried to install a D.V.D player the other day. Stupid thing, I couldn't get it to work for the life of me. All those cords and wires... 

Norm: I know what you mean Sammy. Vera's been nagging me to get one of those things. I just don't see the point what's the difference? 

Cliff: Well Norm, it can be beneficial to invest in some new technology. Studies _have_ show that D.V.Ds last up to 5 time longer that VHS tapes. 

Norm: Oh yeah? 

Cliff: Yeah, in fact- (the conversation fades into the background and the camera focuses on Carla and Sam who're talking over on the opposite side of the bar). 

Sam: So Carla how're things with that new guy of yours, um what's his name...? 

Carla: Jack? 

Sam: Yeah, yeah that's the one. 

Carla: I don't know Sammy everything seems so boring lately. So routine you know? there's no variation, nothing exciting anymore. 

Sam: I know what you mean. I've been getting the same feeling around the bar. We could really use something to shake things up around here. 

Carla: You can say that again (she grabs her tray and walks over to serve a group of people who have just walked in).(Sam walks over to the other side of the bar to join the conversation) 

Norm: Cliff so if you're Mr. Technology around here tell me, what's good out there? 

Cliff: Ha! Joke all you want Norm but I just got DSL on my new flat screen computer, fastest thing around. 

Woody: Hmm I heard it was Road Runner, that's what Kelly and I have. 

Cliff: Ah, a common misconception Woody but contrary to popular belief, DSL is the best high speed internet system, even ask Erin. 

Norm: Whoa, whoa whoa! Cliffy, who's Erin? 

Cliff: (grinning with that look of superiority) Just a, uh, a friend I've been talking to online... a woman friend. 

Sam: (about to go out into the bar but turns around when he hears what Cliff just said) Hey whoa, wait a minute you can meet women on these things? 

Rebecca: (looks up from the paper she's been flipping through and rolls her eyes) Sam! Is that seriously _all_ you EVER think about (sighs at Sam's dumbfounded look and turns to speak to Cliff)? Can you even find jobs on the Internet Cliff? 

Cliff: Well yeah, sure you can. 

Sam: Oh come on Rebecca. I've told you a million times, just work here. Carla could really use the help. 

Carla: (from across the room) Hey! Sammy I do all right. 

Rebecca: (turning back to Sam) Sam, no. I told you no. I'm just... not cut out to work here. 

Sam: Oh honey come on you've been looking for weeks now. If nobody's wanted you by now who will? 

Rebecca: Gee thanks, that makes me feel so much better. (Sam sighs) This is really bothering you isn't it? Well I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Okay? If I can't find a job in the entire city of Boston over the internet or in the papers, I'll work here. 

Sam: Well okay, that's better. 

Rebecca: Good, now can I use your office? All this chatter around here I haven't been able to concentrate one bit. 

Sam: Oh yeah sure (turns to Cliff). Now uh- show me how to talk to a woman on this thing...(the scene fades out as Rebecca walks into the office and Sam and Cliff are talking.) 


	2. Technology can be a good thing

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Two: Technology can be a good thing. 

(Sam and Cliff are sitting at the table under the TV which has been replaced by a newer, more modern version. Cliff reaches into his mailbag and pull out a black lap top.) 

Sam: Whoa Cliff, how much did this thing cost (picks it up and looks at it, Cliff's hands fly up)? 

Cliff: Whoa, whoa Sammy be careful with that! The cost? Ah, it's way up there. 

Sam: (puts it down carefully and looks at cliff) How'd you afford this on a mail carrier's salary? 

Cliff: Well when Ma' died she left me the house in Florida and uh- everything she owned. So, I sold it all for this. 

Sam: (nodding) Yeah okay. Well let's see how this thing works. 

(Cliff opens it up and they both lean forward. Cliff is heard clicking away at the keys) 

Cliff: Okay here we go Sammy, chat room central. You can go in any one, be whatever you want. 

Sam: Oh yeah Cliff? Go anywhere? 

Cliff: Yeah Sam, there's even an entire web site that you can talk all about TV shows sitcoms online or something or other (he kind of trails off into senseless babble and he walks away leaving Sam to chat by himself). 

Sam: (quietly to himself) Anyone I want to be huh? Okay um how about a book chat room (chuckles slightly). This should be good (he clicks and a chat room sound is heard. You can see a window pop up and immediately someone begins talking to him. After choosing the screen name SMchics, he begins to reply to the other person, with a screen name of DCinLA). 

DCinLA: Oh thank goodness! Someone else finally came into this chat room! I've been the only one in here for awhile and I was just about to sign out! 

Sam: (still out loud to himself) Ooh desperate. (begins to type) 

SMchics: Why hello. Yeah I'm here. Actually it's my first time in a chat room like this. 

DCinLA: Oh I see. Well yes, they can be quite useful, not to mention comforting when you lead a- well rather lonely life like myself. 

SMchics: Oh so you uh- live alone, I mean you're single? 

DCinLA: Hmmm, yet another hound I presume? 

SMchics: Well I wouldn't say _that._

__

DCinLA: Then tell me, what are you doing in a _book _chat room? You don't sound like the typical intellectual. 

SMchics: I don't know why I chose this one, just something different I guess. 

DCinLA: I see. Well then before we talk about books let's get to know each other a little bit, shall we? Let's see... okay what do you look like? 

SMchics: Okay, okay... (stops for a moment thinking of his graying hair) Well I'm tall, dark, nothing out of the ordinary. What about you? 

DCinLA: Well soft ivory skin, blue eyes, light hair. 

SMchics: Oh I see, I see. A blonde with blue eyes, nice. 

DCinLA: You know you remind me a lot of this man I used to know. 

SMchics: Oh yeah? And you uh- liked this guy did you? 

DCinLA: Well I suppose I did. Yes our relationship was flawed but who's isn't? But I did like him enough to almost marry him. 

SMchics: You've been married then? 

DCinLA: No, no never actually have been. Almost married um well it's not important. 

SMchics: No tell me, you can tell me. 

DCinLA: Well um okay almost 4 times. Now don't laugh! Well of course it's not as if I'd know if you were laughing anyway. Anyway one of them doesn't really count. So how about you? Have you ever been married before? 

SMchics: Yeah once, but it didn't go very well and we divorced. So then I was almost married to the same woman twice. 

DCinLA: I see. Well why didn't you marry her? 

SMchics: I don't know it just didn't work out. 

DCinLA: Yes I know what you mean. (cliff walks over and Sam looks up) 

Cliff: Uh- Sammy you almost done with that thing? Norm's insisting that I didn't really get 12 million on 3D pinball. 

Sam: (nods, waving his hand behind his back) Oh- oh yeah Cliff sorry. Let me just wrap things up here. 

Cliff: Okay Sammy, say did you meet- 

Sam: Cliff! 

Cliff: Got is Sam (he returns to his stool). 

SMchics: So yeah, um sorry to go so soon but I have some important business to attend to. But hey, listen are you gonna be on anytime soon? 

DCinLA: Well I suppose we could make a little "internet date" for tomorrow night, oh say around 8 o'clock? 

SMchics: Yeah, yeah that sounds good. I'll see, well talk, to you then. 

DCinLA: Until we speak again. 

(Sam slowly closed the computer and walks over to where Cliff is. In the background Rebecca comes out of the office.) 

Sam: (handing the computer to Cliff) Her you go Cliff. Say can I borrow this for a couple a days? (Rebecca is slyly listening in.) 

Cliff: Oh, find yourself a girl there huh Sammy? 

Sam: (walking over behind the bar and grabbing a bottle of water to take a sip) Yeah, yeah something like that Cliff, whatta you say? 

Cliff: Uh, yeah I guess Sam (scratched his forehead). Just make sure you get it back in a couple of days or so. 

Sam: That's great, yeah okay thanks a lot Cliff. 

Cliff: No problem Sam. 

(Sam walks out into the back room, and Norm and Cliff open the computer. Rebecca walks over behind them looking over their shoulders at the computer screen. She slowly turns her head and looks back into the pool room. She bites her cheek and one eyebrow rises slightly. She turns on her heels and taps the paper she's holding on her left hand before walking into the office again.) 


	3. Chapter Three: Planting the Seed

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Three: Planting the Seed 

(Cheers, a couple nights after Sam made his date with his internet friend. The bar is pretty much empty and Carla is resting at a bar stool, Norm and Cliff are in the back room and Sam is in his office anxiously waiting for DCinLA to enter the chat room. Rebecca walks over to Carla and rests here head on her hands as she leans on the bar.) 

Rebecca: (trying to sound as if she doesn't care) So where is everyone? 

Carla: (annoyed) You mean _Sam?_

Rebecca: (looking around and then rolling her eyes) Well if you _know_ where Sam is and uh- _insist_ on telling me then 

yeah I want to know where he is. 

Carla: Well- (she stops when she notices two new customers walk in, it's Karen and Jack from "Will and Grace") 

Karen: (in her usual high-pitched squeaky voice) This looks like a friendly lil' place, c'mon Jacky. 

Jack: (bouncing in) You're right Karen, I'm glad we decided to come here. You know Boston is full of gay men (they walk over and sit at the bar with their backs to the door. Carla hears Jack's last remark and saunters over). 

Carla: Hey! Girly-boy, what makes you so sure there are so many gay men in Boston? 

Jack: (looking at her in disbelief) Well isn't it obvious? (counting off on his fingers) Ben Affleck... Matt Damon... 

Carla: Hey, hey, hey! Ben Affleck is not gay. Ever heard of a little thing called Bennifer? 

Jack: Oh please, that was a publicity stunt if I ever saw one! 

Carla: (getting angry) Now wait one- (Karen suddenly interrupts her by pounding her hand on the bar) 

Karen: Hey that's enough serving wench! Now bring us some drinks and- 

Carla: (in a soft angry voice) _What_ did you call me? 

Karen: Serving wench? Oh come on historical city like Boston, that's what you call 'em right? 

Carla: Lady you can just- (Rebecca steps in before things get too out of hand) 

Rebecca: Carla, Carla! Just forget it, let it go and get them their drinks and will you _please _tell me where Sam is? 

Carla: (walking back over to Rebecca before throwing an intimidating look behind her at Karen) Well where do you think Sam is Rebecca? In his office as usual, waiting for Miss. _DCinLA_ to get on. 

Rebecca: (letting out an annoyed sigh) That's all he ever does anymore! 

Carla: Rebecca you got a thing for Sam don't ya'? 

Rebecca: What? NO! 

Carla: Oh come on I've seen those looks you've been giving him (makes a goofy face). Always wondering where he is... 

Karen: (jumping in an speaking louder of both of them) Hey! What's going on? What's happening? Why don't we have our drinks? 

Carla: (turning around quickly and snapping at Karen) Hey butt out! 

Karen: (putting her hand on her chest and her mouth is open astounded that anyone would speak to her like that) Well if you don't want my help... 

Rebecca: (rolls her eyes and pushes Carla aside) _What?_

Karen: Well honey, if you like this guy you gotta go for him. I mean by the looks of things you're not getting any younger...(Karen is obviously unaware that this might be taken offensively and so she continues) You know my husband Stan died a couple months ago and if there's one thing I know about life it's that you have to tell the people you care about, you care about them. 

Rebecca: (looking surprised that this woman could have said something so insightful) Well thank you, I'll remember that (she walks back over and sits at the bar). 

Karen: (turning to Jack) Now c'mon Jacky we've done our good deed for the year. Let's get out of here and go down to Harvard Square and make fun of the people dancing for money. 

Jack: (giggling girlishly and bouncing up off his bar stool) Okay! 

(they walk out and Carla slowly makes her way back over to Rebecca) 

Carla: So anyway Rebecca I think you ought to listen to what Miss. Bossy Boobs said. if you really like Sam you gotta tell him, and I got the perfect way to get his attention. 

Rebecca: (raising one eyebrow and locking as if she's willing to give the idea a chance) Oh yeah? 

Carla: See what you gotta do is- (Woody walks in and Carla looks up) Hey what're you doing here? It's your day off. 

Woody: Oh yeah I know Carla, I just stopped in to get my paycheck from Sam. But you know as I was coming in here the weirdest thing happened outside. This skinny giddy guy and his lady friend stopped me and kept calling me Nathan. They said that I deserved to live in this freakish city and it served me right for dumping Grace. Boy I'll tell ya' people get weirder and weirder everyday. 

( Woody goes into Sam's office and Carla and Rebecca just shake their heads in confusion and continue their conversation.) 

Carla: Anyway what you gotta do is be a waitress here. I'm tellin' you it'll work. It worked for Diane and it can work for you too. 

Rebecca: How is being a waitr- hey wait a minute I thought you hated Diane. 

Carla: Well yeah I hate her and I wouldn't usually approve of you either but I'm tired of seeing Sammy drool over some stupid internet broad he doesn't even know. You're better than that. 

Rebecca: (deciding to take the last comment as a compliment) Well thanks Carla. Um, I'll give that some thought (she walks into the back room, the scene fades out.) 


	4. Chapter Four: An Act of Desperation

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Four: An act of Desperation 

(late at night at Sam's. Cliff's computer is open on the coffee table and Sam is typing away as he sits on the couch.) 

SMchics: So you and I have been talking for awhile now. 

DCinLA: Yes we have, for quite some time now. I must say it has been very enjoyable. 

SMchics: Yeah, yeah for me too. But don't you think it's time we met or something? 

DCinLA: Hmm. Well yes I do suppose that would be the next step in our developing relationship.We certainly can't hide behind our computers forever. Alright, when should we plan this little get together? 

SMchics: Well are you going to be in Boston anytime soon? 

DCinLA: My goodness! Why didn't I think of this earlier? I'm going to be in Boston next week! My agent suggested I travel a little, you know get out a little, try to be inspired for the book I've been trying to write for the past couple of years. In fact I'm in Chicago right now, scheduled to be in New York in a couple of days, and after that Boston. 

SMchics: Wow that must be really great traveling around like that. I bet you're having a lot of fun. 

DCinLA: Well yeah I guess that's what you could call it. Well not fun really. I've been pretty lonely actually. What fun is going to a wonderful exciting place if you have no one to share it with? I admit it- the high point of my weeks has been conversing with you. I'm really looking forward to meeting and talking with you face to face. 

SMchics: Yeah me too. Well are you going to be in town, oh say next Tuesday at noon at the Public Gardens? 

DCinLA: Hold on a moment let me check my planner... um how does 2 o'clock sound? My plane gets in rather late Monday night and I was hoping to sleep in a little Tuesday. 

SMchics: Yeah okay, 2's fine. Hey oh wait a minute how will we know each other? 

DCinLA: Oooh good question. Oh how about you carry a single yellow rose and uh- I'll be carrying a copy of "War and Peace" and um wearing a hat. 

SMchics: Okay okay, "War and Peace", hat, yellow rose, I can remember that. I guess I'll see you next week then. 

DCinLA: Ok I'll see you then. 

SMchics: Good night. 

(Sam slowly closed the computer screen and rests his chin oh his hand leaning back against the couch) 

Sam: (out loud to himself) Yellow rose. War and Peace, hat, yellow rose.(he grins broadly gets up and walks through a door on the other side of the room leaving the computer to rest on the coffee table.) 

(The next day at Cheers, everything is normal as usual. Sam walks in, hands in his pockets and with a bounce in his step.) 

Woody: Oh hi Sam. 

Sam: Hi Woody. Listen I'm gonna be in my office for awhile, don't let anyone disturb me okay? 

Woody: Okay Sam. 

(he walks into his office but when he gets there he finds Rebecca already there and sitting at his desk reading the paper) 

Sam: (rather surprised) Oh-oh! Uh- I didn't know you were in here. 

Rebecca: (jumping up) Oh! I'm sorry. Uh- I hope you don't mind I was just- 

Sam: No, no that's okay Rebecca, you just startled me that's all. 

Rebecca: Oh good. Well uh- I'll just be on my way then (she turns to leave but Sam grabs her shoulder). 

Sam: Wai- wait a minute. Hey whatta you say we talk for a little while. It feels like we haven't seen each other in ages. 

Rebecca: (turning slowly) Okay that sounds nice. (she sits on the couch and Sam takes a seat on the corner of his desk.) 

Sam: So uh- what's new? Carla said something about a new job. 

Rebecca: (nodding) Uh yeah at the new bank that's coming in. 

Sam: Oh yeah I heard that's supposed to be good. 

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah it is. So what about you? Anything new in your life (looking down at her hands waiting for a reply)? 

Sam: Uh- no not that I can think of. 

Rebecca: (once again acting as if she doesn't care) Oh? You mean there's nothing new with that uh- (waving her hand in the air as if she couldn't care less) internet friend of yours? 

Sam: Oh, oh yeah that's right! Yeah actually there is something kind of exciting happening. 

Rebecca: Oh? 

Sam: Well yeah, we're gonna meet face to face next week. 

Rebecca: (her head snaps up and her eyes widen) You're what?! (she realizes that she is probably being to obvious, calmer) Oh you are? 

Sam: Yeah. Yeah I'm pretty excited about it. 

Rebecca: Yeah, that sounds... really great. Listen Sam before I go I have a bit of a confession to make. 

Sam: Oh yeah? (looking rather concerned) What's that? 

Rebecca: (looks around a bit and bites her cheek for a moment) Well, actually there is no bank job. I just made that job up... so (pausing a minute looking sideways) no one would pity me. 

Sam: Oh honey, honey what'd I tell you? Please, _please _take a job here. Not just for you but for me too, we could really use the help. I've been putting off hiring someone else hoping that you would accept. 

Rebecca: (smiling) Well Sam if you _insist._

__

__Sam: Oh I do, I do. 

Rebecca: Okay I will. 

Sam: Good (he moves forward and hugs her, it's clear she's enjoying it a little more that he is). 

Rebecca: (after letting go of each other) Thanks Sam. 

Sam: Yeah no problem sweetie. You can uh- start Monday and Carla'll help you out a little, help you learn the ropes. 

Rebecca: Okay (smiles). Monday. I'll see you then. 

(she leaves the office looking extremely happy. Sam sits down at his desk and looks at the newspaper Rebecca was reading. The camera focuses on the paper which is open to the business section. Something is circled in red. As the camera gets closer you can read what's circled. It's the bank telling job at the new bank. Sam cocks his head confused and closes the paper turning in his chair as the camera fades out.) 


	5. Chapter Five: The First Surprise of Many

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Five: The First Surprise of Many 

(Cheers, Monday, the day Rebecca is going to start waitressing at Cheers. Carla is impatiently waiting behind the bar talking to Sam) 

Carla: I knew it Sammy, I knew it! Rebecca couldn't be on time if her life depended on it. 

Sam: Oh come on Carla, give her a minute she's only five minutes late. Oh by the way before she gets here I want to talk to you (they walk over to the opposite side of the bar where no one is sitting). 

Carla: What is it Sam? 

Sam: Well I don't know if you've noticed but Rebecca's been acting kind of weird lately. 

Carla: No I didn't notice Sam, I mean it's been what 15 years now? 

Sam: No, Carla I'm serious. Do you know what's going on with her? 

Carla: Maybe, what's is to ya'? 

Sam: Well I'm kind of worried about her you know? With the divorce and everything. 

Carla: Well Sam I think Rebecca's a little jealous. 

Sam: (mouth opened surprised) Oh what? 

Carla: Well think about it. Rebecca's used to all your sleazy come ons and stuff right? 

Sam: Yeah what about it? 

Carla: Well now all you've been doing is talking to that new computer girl of yours- if that's what it turns out to be. She just needs a little sympathy from you with this divorce thing. 

Sam: Well what about you Carla? Can't you relate to her better? You've been through a divorce. 

Carla: Oh please Sam, I have no sympathy! She wrecked her own marriage, whining and crying... WAAA I have to take the kids to baseball practice, WAAA I'm married to a plumber... 

Sam: (putting his hand up silencing Carla) Okay, okay Carla I get it, I should talk to her (Carla nods). 

(Rebecca walks in) 

Rebecca: Yes I know I'm late. The electric was out this morning so my alarm didn't go off and I overslept, and then Tyler was saying his stomach hurt and we were running late.... and well, I'm here now. 

Carla: Yeah, yeah yeah. Get over here so we can start your training. 

(Rebecca hangs her coat up and goes over to Carla, meanwhile Sam is talking to Cliff) 

Cliff: So Sammy you looking forward to meeting this girl? 

Sam: Oh yeah Cliff I've been talking to her for weeks, sure I'm excited. Hey how long have you been talking to that Erin chic? 

Cliff: Ah, two or three years or so. 

Sam: And you haven't met her face to face yet? 

Cliff: Well no not really. 

Sam: Cliff! You should really meet her. I mean you can't just talk to her forever. 

Cliff: Maybe you're right Sammy. 

Sam: Of course I'm right Cliff! Ask her, see what she says. 

Cliff: Yeah. Yeah I will. But maybe we should send our pictures first, just so we can spot each other when we meet. 

Sam: (looking like he just had an idea) Yeah. (dazed) Yeah that's a good idea Cliff. 

Cliff: Is that what you did Sam? 

Sam: Uh- no, she's gonna be wearing a hate and holding War and Peace and uh- I'll be holding a yellow rose or something. 

Cliff: Sammy! You haven't seen this woman's picture or _anything?_

__

Sam: No. 

Cliff: Well then you know why she's gonna be wearing a hat then don't ya'? 

Sam: Why's that Cliff? 

Cliff: To cover her face! 

Norm: (joining the conversation after just listening for awhile) Now Cliffy, Cliffy give Sammy a little credit. I'm sure that if he gets there, where are you meeting her? 

Sam: Public Gardens. 

Norm: Okay when Sammy gets to the Public Gardens and sees that this chic is hideous he'll just leave, right Sammy? 

Sam: Norm you know I can't do that. 

Norm: Oh I knew it you're loosing it Sammy. Now I gotta go or I'm gonna loose it too, if you know what I mean (he heads off for the men's room leaving Sam looking pretty deep in thought- well as deep as he can go.) 

(Later that night, it's last call and all of the customers are gone. Woody has taken Norm home and Carla, Sam and Rebecca are the only ones left.) 

Carla: (from over by the door) I'm taking off Sam. 

Sam: (from behind the bar) Okay Carla. 

(she leaves) 

Rebecca: (walking out from the back room and putting her apron on the bar) Well Sam I better get home to the boys (begins to walk towards the door). 

Sam: Hey hey no wait a minute can I talk to you for a minute? (she turns around and he walks out from behind the bar) 

Rebecca: Yeah sure (walking over to him). What is it? 

Sam: Well you've been acting kinda strange lately. Is everything okay? 

Rebecca: Yeah, everything's perfectly fine, what do you mean? 

Sam: Well okay. For example you didn't make up that bank job up. I saw it circled in the paper (she looks down ashamed). Why Rebecca? 

Rebecca: (looking up) Sam I'm gonna be completely honest with you. 

Sam: Yeah, okay. 

Rebecca: Well uh- the reason I didn't take that job is because I uh- I heard the bank had rats. 

Sam: (confused) Rats? Wha-? 

Rebecca: No, not rats...I have to do this... 

Sam: Rebecca I'm confused here. 

Rebecca: Okay the real reason is... 

Sam: (taking her by the shoulders and looking her straight in the eyes) Rebecca it's okay, you can tell me the truth. Why didn't you take the job at the bank? 

Rebecca: (gazing up into his eyes and melting a little bit) Well...because....( she can't seem to find the words) because.... ( she pauses still looking into his eyes, suddenly without warning she grabs and kisses him passionately on the lips. At first he is surprised and hesitant, but then he gets into it, wrapping his arms around her as they kiss. They finally break away leaving Sam looking a little bemused.) Because of that. (she stares at him waiting for his reaction) 

Sam: (touching his lips for a second) How uh- how long have you been wanting to do that? 

Rebecca: For awhile now. 

Sam: Oh. 

Rebecca: Listen Sam you can't go meet that woman. You don't even know her! 

Sam: Well I can't just stand her up. I have to at least go there and see what happens okay? 

Rebecca: Okay (she leans in for another kiss but Sam stops her putting his finger on her lips). 

Sam: We'll see what happens. 

(She nods, turns, gets her coat and walks out. Sam walks into his office and shuts the door. The camera fades out on a dark bar.) 


	6. Chapter Six: The Second Coming of the Da...

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Six: The Second Coming of the Dark One 

(the next day, when Sam is supposed to meet his internet girlfriend. He stands at the meeting place with a single yellow rose in his hand. He sees a hat a couple feet away and walks over.) 

Sam: (tapping the woman on her shoulder and she turns around smiling warmly, she's very pretty) 

Woman: Yes? 

Sam: That's a very nice hat you have there. 

Woman: Thank you. 

Sam: And uh- I have this nice yellow rose here (holds the rose up). 

Woman: (staring at him blankly) Mmmm-hmmm. 

Sam: (pausing for a minute) You don't happen to have "War and Peace" with you, do ya'? 

Woman: (shaking her head) No. 

Sam: (looking disappointed) I see, uh- well then I must have you confused with someone else, sorry to bother you. But 

say you wouldn't want to come out and- (he is interrupted by a man who walks up to the woman and kisses her, Sam just then notices a wedding ring on her finger.) Oh then I guess not. Nice to meet you. 

Woman: You too. 

(Sam turns and walks away searching for more hats. He sees one and begins to walk over to it but before he can get 

there the person is greeted by someone and they walk hand in hand away. It seems as if everyone is wearing a hat and he is beginning to get discouraged.) 

Sam: (out loud but to himself) How many stupid hats can there possibly be in this place? (pacing around he looks down at his watch which now says 2:30. He shakes his head.) Well she's probably gone by now. 

(he turns to leave, shaking his head, but as he does something catches his eye. A hat. One more hat he hasn't tried. 

Sam: (still to himself, still out loud) No, no I won't. I'm done. (he tries to walk away but can't and he turns back walking over to the hat which is sitting on a bench, back to him. The person is holding a book, he walks over slowly) 

Sam: (from behind the hat) That wouldn't happen to be "War and Peace" you're reading would it? 

Woman: (without turning around) Yes it would be, why do you ask? 

(the voice sounds VERY familiar and Sam stops for a minute looking confused.) 

Woman: (a little louder) Yes, it is, why do you ask? (she turns around) SAM! 

(it's Diane! Her mouth hangs wide open and her eyes are huge. Sam stares at her, completely speechless.) 

Sam: D- D- Di 

(Diane's eyes fall onto the yellow rose that has just broken in half from Sam squeezing it so hard.) 

Diane: Oh no. No, no no! No this can't be (she covers her mouth with her hands horrified). 

Sam: D- D- 

Diane: Diane? 

Sam: yeah, yeah that's it. Oh my god this can't be happening. 

Diane: (taking her hand away from her mouth and resting her head in both her hands before lifting it again to look at Sam) You can say that again. 

Sam: What're you doing here? 

Diane: (looking at him in disbelief) Sam isn't it obvious what happened here? 

Sam: Yeah, yeah I guess. 

Diane: (continuing without even acknowledging that Sam spoke) I let myself get so, so caught up in the idea of meeting someone really wonderful and great that I didn't even think about what might have happened. 

Sam: (trying to say something) Whoa wai- 

Diane: (continuing, as she stands up, begins pacing and speaking with her hands) How naive could I have been not to figure out it was you? Almost married to the same woman twice...lived in Boston...tall dark handsome, divorc- 

Sam: Whoa wait what did you say? 

Diane: (stopping abruptly and facing him) Lived in Boston? 

Sam: After that. 

Diane: Divorced? 

Sam: Before that. 

Diane: (getting very annoyed and angry) Oh I should have known! What a surprise. Sam Malone concerned with no one and nothing else but HIMSELF! 

Sam: Hey no wait a minute- 

Diane: Sam, can't you see how this is affecting me? 

Sam: You? YOU?! How do you think I feel getting all excited to come meet some great babe that I've been talking to for awhile and I come down here and it turns out to be you? 

Diane: Oh well thank you Mr. Sensitive! (softer and getting quieter, calmer) Now listen, obviously we both made some mistakes here and I think it would be best if we both just went our separate ways and forget this whole thing ever happened. 

Sam: Oh no, no, no. don't think you're getting out of this that easily. Now we've been talking and liking talking to each other for awhile now. You must still have some feelings for me. 

Diane: (half yelling) I do not! 

Sam: (yelling) Oh yes you do! Don't even try to tell me otherwise. 

Diane: (also yelling) Prove it! 

Sam: HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT AT 8 O'CLOCK AT MELLVILLES! 

Diane: FINE! 

(They both walk angrily away in the opposite direction.) 

Later that night at Mellvilles 

(Sam and Diane walk in arm in arm. A woman is standing w/ their back to them.) 

Sam: (tapping the woman) Excuse me, Malone party of two. 

(the woman turns around and it turns out to be Rebecca, up at Mellvilles getting change. Her mouth drops open in total shock.) 


	7. Chapter Seven: A Wrench in Rebecca's Lit...

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

A Wrench in Rebecca's little Plan 

Sam: Oh! Rebecca I didn't realize it was you. 

Rebecca: (still in shock) Sam! 

Sam: (Diane nudges him slightly) Oh, oh yeah right. Rebecca you remember Diane Chambers. 

(Rebecca doesn't say anything but keeps staring) 

Sam: Uh you do remember don't you? 

Rebecca: (suddenly finding her voice after swallowing hard, she reaches out her hand to shake Diane's) Uh- oh yeah, yeah. Nice to see you again. 

(the maitradee walks in) 

Diane: And you as well (the let go, she turns to Sam). Um we should probably go... 

Sam: Oh yeah- yeah right (he puts his hand around her hip and leads her into the next room, Rebecca follows desperately. Sam notices and turns around looking at Rebecca.) 

Rebecca: So uh- going to dinner are you? 

Sam: (with a tone of finality) Uh- yeah we are. (they turn and begin to walk again but Rebecca still follows) 

Rebecca: Um, and so you two have been talking to each other online. 

Sam: That we were. 

(they sit down and Rebecca sits down with them) 

Rebecca: (scooting in the booth trying desperately to get some attention from them) And you just found out that you were talking to each other? 

(they both just kind of look at her) 

Sam: Don't you need to take that change down to Woody? 

Rebecca: (giving up, meek) Uh yeah, I guess I do. (she slowly gets up and walks out and downstairs. Sam and Diane return to talking to each other and order.) 

Sam: So let's talk. 

Diane: "Let's talk?" 

Sam: Yeah "let's talk" what's wrong with that? 

Diane: "Let's talk" is no way to start a serious conversation like we're about to have. 

Sam: Well what do you want me to say? 

Diane: I don't know, something a bit more meaningful. 

Sam: (a tiny bit angry, but kind of laughing) You haven't changed a bit. 

Diane: _What_ is that supposed to mean Sam? I have changed in innumerable ways. 

Sam: (sarcastically) Oh yeah loads of change. 

Diane: Now Sam I resent that! We have only been reacquainted for a few hours now. How can you know that there has been no change in me? 

Sam: Oh please Diane. You will always be the same long-winded, over analytical, over educated woman I knew 10 years ago, and 15 years ago. 

Diane: Sam I'm shocked! 

Sam: Ha! I hit it didn't I? 

Diane: No you used the word analytical. 

Sam: OH, well yeah it was on my word of the day calendar the other day. 

Diane: And you retained that information for more than a day? 

Sam: (smiling) Yeah I did. (getting serious again) But that's beside the point. The point is you always have to think about every little thing, that hasn't changed. 

Diane: Well maybe you're right, but what's wrong with that? 

Sam: Well for one you're too busy thinking about what you're doing instead of just enjoying it. If you'd just loosen up 

and let go you'd be a lot happier. 

Diane: (defensively) I am perfectly happy thank you very much! 

Sam: Oh yeah? Yeah? You didn't sound very happy when you were Miss. "DCinLA." 

Diane: That was different. 

Sam: How? 

Diane: Well... 

Sam: Ha! Oh look, for once in her life Diane Chambers with nothing to say. Admit it, you're not happy. 

Diane: Okay so what if I'm not? What do you care? 

Sam: Diane, I've been talking to you and gotten to know you, even if I didn't know it was you. I do care about you. Now what's going on? 

Diane: Well no I'm not _happy_. How can I be? 

Sam: What do you mean, why couldn't you be? 

Diane: No, you'd just laugh at me. 

Sam: No give it a shot. 

Diane: (looking at him as if she's not sure she wants to tell him) In an extreme moment of weakness I dropped my agent and uh- decided to move back here (she looks down waiting for his reaction). 

Sam: You what? 

Diane: (quieter) I moved back to Boston. 

Sam: (in disbelief) But why? 

Diane: Well to be perfectly honest I missed it here. Id been thinking about it for a long time, moving back here that is. But I was writing for this newspaper in LA and I didn't want to leave it. Well then I was uh- fired a week or so ago and the only think I really had going for me was coming out here and meeting the "internet guy" so I just packed up and moved. So there, that's something you didn't expect! 

Sam: You can say that again. That is the stupidest thing you've ever done. You have no where to live, no job, no nothing. What're you going to do? 

Diane: (beginning to panic) I was so focused on maybe having a great relationship with someone I guess I didn't think about it. 

Sam: You didn't think about it?! Diane this is the most irrespo- oh my god. 

Diane: What? 

Sam: I sound just like you! 

Diane: Excuse me? 

Sam: No, no listen to me. I'm saying exactly what you would say. No, it's your life you do what you want. If you want to move here go right ahead. 

Diane: (fighting back tears) Sam what am I going to do? 

Sam: (looking horribly guilty for saying what he did and putting his arm around her) Oh honey no, no, no. I didn't mean that of course I didn't mean it. Of course I care about what happens to you. I do, you can work at Cheers. 

Diane: (wiping her eyes and collecting herself) Oh Sam don't be silly I couldn't possibly. 

Sam: Yes, you could. 

Diane: Well... okay. 

Sam: (looking up) What? 

Diane: I said okay I'll work at Cheers. 

Sam: Oh, haha you accepted. Oh, um okay. You're working at Cheers. 

Diane: Is there a problem Sam? 

Sam: Wha? Oh no. That's great you're working at Cheers (still trying to comprehend what he's just done) Okay. That's great. 

Diane: Sam I sense that you have a problem. If you don't want me working at Cheers why did you ask me? 

Sam: (very quiet and sincere looking straight into her eyes) Diane, don't worry. I do not have a problem with you working at Cheers. Now can we please eat? 

Diane: (smiling) Yes, let's eat. 


	8. Chapter Eight: A Bit of a Shock

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Eight: A Bit of a Shock 

(Still at Mellvilles, Sam and Diane have just finished eating) 

Sam: Uh- well whatta you say we go have a drink downstairs? 

Diane: Are you sure you want to go down there just yet? 

Sam: Oh don't worry it's Carla's day off. 

Diane: Oh! Alright then. 

(they get up and begin to walk out, you can see them walking down the stairs to Cheers, Sam comes down first.) 

Norm: (spotting Sam, but he can't see Diane yet; from across the bar) Hey! Sammy got that new babe? I heard she's a looker. 

Sam: (puts his finger to his lips telling Norm to be quiet but nodding at the same time. Diane walks into view) Everyone, I'm sure you remember Diane. 

Diane: (in her usual "Hello Everyone" voice) Hello everyone. 

(the bar is completely silent and no one is breathing. Norm finally decides to break the silence) 

Norm: Woody can I get another beer over here? 

Sam: (getting angry) Oh come on guys- 

Diane: (interrupting and patting Sam on the shoulder) NO, no Sam it's alright. I can understand why they're all shocked to see me. I'm probably the last person they expected to see tonight. No, it's alright. 

Sam: (shaking his head) Yeah well maybe...c'mon let's just go sit down. 

(they walk over and sit down at a table. Rebecca comes over to take their order, she looks pretty bad and she's shaking) 

Rebecca: (shakily) Hi, uh- what can I get for you tonight? 

Sam: (looking concerned) Honey, are you okay? 

Rebecca: Oh yeah, just fine. What would be your pleasure this evening? 

Diane: Oh I'll just have a glass of white wine thank you. 

Sam: And a soda water for me please. 

Rebecca: Okay, coming right up (she walks away to get their orders). 

Sam: So, when can you start? 

Diane: As soon as you need me to. I need to find somewhere to live as soon as possible so- (Rebecca comes over with their drinks). 

Rebecca: (handing Diane her drink) Here you go. 

Diane: Thank you. 

Sam: So Rebecca, did you hear that? Diane's gonna be working here starting next week. 

(Rebecca drops Sam's drink when she hears this, spilling it all over, and Sam is startled. She stares at Sam in shock.) 

Rebecca: She what? 

Diane: I'm going to be working here, I hope that's not a problem. 

Rebecca: (trying to collect herself) Oh no. No it won't be. We can use all the help we can get right? 

Sam: Well good I'm glad you're okay with it. 

Diane: (getting up) Well I might as well get right on the job. Here Rebecca, let me help you clean that up (she bends down and they clean it up together) 

Rebecca: (after they've finished and standing up) Thanks. 

Diane: Oh, it was nothing. (turning to Sam) Well I really should be going Sam, thanks for dinner. 

Sam: No problem, Monday okay with you? 

Diane: Yeah that's fine. (turns to Rebecca and puts her hand out to shake Rebecca's) Nice to see you again. I'm looking forward to working with you (they shake hands). 

Rebecca: Yeah you too (they let go and Diane looks down at her hand that is now all sticky from shaking Rebecca's. She grabs a rag off the bar and wipes her hands before waving, smiling and leaving). 

Sam: So uh- you're really okay with this? 

Rebecca: Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I mean come on it's only the only woman that you were ever really in love with and almost married. Why would I have a problem? (she begins to walk away and Sam follows) 

Sam: (catching up with her in the pool room and grabbing her shoulder spinning her around) Hey, hey, hey! I know how you're feeling but what did you want me to do? She has nowhere to go, no job. I couldn't just turn her away. 

Rebecca: Yeah you're right. I don't know why I reacted that way. I have no reason to worry right? I mean it's not as if you could ever actually have feelings for her ever again right? 

Sam: (he doesn't say anything but just stands there thinking about it) 

Rebecca: _Sam._

Sam: (snapping out of it) Oh-oh right , yeah. No, never. 

Rebecca: (looking doubtful) Alright. Well I better get going. When Carla's off I'm swamped. You know maybe it won't be so bad having Diane around. She can really help to lighten the load. 

Sam: Yeah that's my girl, look on the bright side. 

Rebecca: (she moves closer, playing with the buttons on his shirt) So Sam have you given any more thought to what happened the other night? 

Sam: (grabbing her hands) Yeah. I have. I decided that you're probably pretty vulnerable right now and that I don't want to take advantage of you and ruin our friendship. 

(she doesn't say but turns and walks into Sam's office, Sam follows) 

Sam: Oh, look Rebecca, no I didn't mean to upset you. 

Rebecca: (closing the door hard with her foot and looking very fiercely into Sam's eyes, speaking very softly) I really don't think you understood me before Mr. Malone. For once in my life I'm going to be aggressive and go after what I want. I want you. 

(she grabs his shirt collar catching him off guard and he falls back on the couch as she kisses him.) 

Sam: Whoa! 

Rebecca: Mmmm-hmmm. 

Sam: Rebecca I don't know if I can.... 

Rebecca: (getting up) You don't know if you can what? Kiss me? (dissolving into tears) I knew it. You can't even stand to look at me. (she sits down at the desk covering her head with her hands and crying loudly). 

Sam: (from the couch, still looking at little dazed) No, see this is what I mean. You can't talk to me, and it's not your fault. I'm irresistible. You just need someone you can talk to. Listen when Diane gets here next week you can get it all out. 

Rebecca: (the sobs subside as she regains her composure and looks up) No, Sam. I'm going to get it all out tonight. 

(Well who could refuse an offer like that? The scene fades out) 


	9. Chapter Nine: Let the Games begin

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Nine: Let the games Begin! 

(Cheers, the day Diane starts work. Both Carla and Rebecca are already waiting tables and the bar is pretty busy even 

though it's early. Norm and Cliff are as they always are, Woody and Sam are behind the bar. Diane walks in, luckily 

Carla is in the back.) 

Diane: Hello everyone! 

Everyone: (quietly and almost as if in pain) Hi Diane. 

Diane: Ahhh. You know I must say that it is so nice to come to a place that remains unchanged after all of these years (she walks over to behind the bar to get her apron). 

Sam: You still remember how to do this? 

Diane: Oh yes, of course I do. Well I hope I do. But I'm sure I won't have any trouble (ties her apron). But I'm sure I won't have any trouble. 

Sam: Okay, good luck. 

(she walks away carrying her tray.) 

Woody: Gee Sam it's mighty brave of you to hire Miss. Chambers like that. I mean knowing what happened when she used to work here. 

Sam: Oh Woody come one. We've both changed, matured. I don't think that we're going to get swept up into some tumultuous romance now. We're both over that. 

Woody: (disbelieving) Okay whatever you say Sam. 

Sam: (rather angrily) Well you just wait and see Woody. 

Woody: (now purposely sarcastic) Oh okay. 

(Sam rolls his eyes and heads into his office leaving Woody, Norm and Cliff to talk by themselves) 

Norm: This is not good Woody, not good. 

Woody: What's not good Mr. Peterson? 

Norm: Diane working here. 

Woody: Why what's wrong with her working here? 

Norm: (rolling his eyes) Well you know what gonna happen don't 'ya? 

(Woody just gives him a blank look) He's gonna fall for her again. 

Woody: Who Sam? 

Cliff: Yeah, it's going to be deja vu all over again. 

Norm: No, no, no. Wait just a minute there Cliffy. From what I've been hearing Rebecca may give Diane a little run for 

her money. Supposedly Rebecca and Sam were a little... chummy last night. 

Cliff: I don't know Norm. I don't think Rebecca would get into that right now, during her divorce and everything. 

Norm: Oh contrair Cliffy, that's exactly why she would do it. I mean think about it, Rebecca's feeling pretty lonely and unattractive, who's the one person she can go to that she knows would never turn down a proposition for sex? 

Cliff: Oh so you're saying Rebecca's just using Sammy for sex? But Sam doesn't know? 

Norm: Nope. And now don't you see? Now that Diane's working here Rebecca's gonna try even harder to get Sam. 

Cliff: Yeah so who do think's gonna win? 

Norm: Ooh, Cliff that's a tough one. See Rebecca's got the home field advantage. She know Sam now, and she's known him for longer. 

Cliff: Ah, but what about Diane? Sammy's never quite gotten over her. 

Norm: I don't know Cliff this is hard (turning to Woody who's been making a drink and has just been listening) Whatta you think Woody? 

Woody: About what Mr. Peterson? 

Norm: In a competition over Sam, who would win Diane or Rebecca? 

Woody: Well that's easy. Ms. Howe. 

Cliff: Why's that Woody? 

Woody: Well Ms. Chambers would never go for something like that. A competition for Sam? Never. 

Norm: No, no Woody we're not going to tell them, just egg 'em on a little you know? 

Woody: Oh, in that case Ms. Howe. 

Norm: Uh- I'm gonna have to go with Diane on this one, what about you Cliff? 

Cliff: (thinking for a minute) Well Normie, this isn't easy, but with some careful thinking and simple math we can figure this out. (Norm rolls his eyes but listens anyway, Woody listen intently). First you have to count the number of letters in each of their names. Rebecca Howe, 11. Diane Chambers, 13. Samuel Malone, 12. Neither one is close in numerical value to Sammy and therefore it is equally probably that he'll end up with either one of them. 

Norm: Yeah but who would you pick Cliff? 

Cliff: Oh that's simple, Rebecca. 

Norm: I'm probably going to regret this (in monotone). Why Rebecca Cliff? 

Cliff: I like her better. 

(Norm rolls his eyes and throws his hand up as if to say "I give up!") 

Woody: So uh- when do they have to be together by? 

Norm: Let's say two weeks from now. With us pushing them it shouldn't even take that long. 

Cliff: Okay Norm, two weeks, no problem. Rebecca'll have him by then anyway. 

Norm: Well I beg to differ Cliff, but it's settled, two weeks from now. 

(the three of them shake hands, finalizing the bet as the camera fades out.) 


	10. Chapter Ten: Revelations

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Ten: Revelations 

Cheers, a couple days later 

(Woody, Norm and Cliff are as they usually are, Rebecca is nowhere to be seen. Sam's in the office and Carla and Diane are serving drinks at tables relatively close to each other) 

Diane: (looks out of the corner of her eye at Carla, she notices Carla is doing the same thing and she quickly looks away) 

Carla: (looking suspiciously out of the corner of her eyes at Diane, almost as if she doesn't quite realize who she is) 

Diane: (looking at Carla but the realizing that Carla is looking at her when their eyes meet and they both quickly look away.) 

(Carla begins to walk backwards carefully, as if she were backing away from a tiger. She keeps backing up all the way into Sam's office, as she opens the door as fast as she possibly can and quickly closes the door behind her, leaning on it breathing heavily like she's just outrun a lion.) 

Carla: Sammy I just saw the most terrifying thing out there. 

Sam: (spinning around in his chair to face her) What? 

Carla: (still breathing hard, terrified) A ghost is out there serving drinks. 

Sam: (rolling his eyes) Carla, that's just Diane she's working here now. 

Carla: But you told me she was dead! 

Sam: I know, I know I did. But she's not, and she works here now. 

(Carla passes out falling hard on the floor, a couple moments later she comes to, Sam standing over her) 

Carla: Sam why couldn't you have just let me think it was a ghost? 

Sam: Oh come on Carla, she's gonna be working here again, you gotta acknowledge she's here. 

Carla: (rolling her eyes and then making wreching noises) 

Sam: _Carla._

Carla: Okay, okay Sammy. _Whatever_ you say. Besides you are lightening my load, 3 waitresses here, I barely have to work anymore. 

Sam: Yeah, yeah I'm glad you like it. 

Carla: I didn't say I liked it Sam. If I'm not working here I'm home babysittin' the grand kids. 

Sam: Oh yeah I heard you got a new one on the way. What is this now? 

Carla: Going on 23. 

Sam: Wow, yeah (shaking his head as if he can't comprehend). Yeah okay so anyway, let's go. (he leads her out steering her with a hand on her shoulder. they get out and wait behind Diane who is serving a table.) 

Diane: (turning around and jumping a little startled) Oh! Hello Carla, I was waiting for you to notice me (Carla says nothing). So let's have it, what dimwitted, ignorant, semi-amusing insult have you got for me (she waits)? 

Carla: (forced, but with a trace of sincerity) Diane since you're going to be working here, I just wanted to say... no hard feelings (she stretches her hand out four a shake.) 

Diane: (raising one eyebrow, surprised and pleased) Well thank you Carla. I'm glad to see that you are for once, behaving like an adult. You know when I first came here I thought for sure- 

Carla: I'm not waiting all day. 

(Diane closes her mouth and shakes Carla's hand. The minute they let go, Carla makes a disgusted face and wipes her hands on her apron several times. Diane rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders and continues to take the table's order. 

Carla walks away still wiping her hands.) 

Sam: Well I'm glad to see you two have an understanding. 

(he goes over to Diane who is walking over to the bar to give her order) 

Sam: Hey Diane I can't wait for you to get to know Rebecca. I just know you're gonna love her. She could really use some sympathy you know? She needs a sympathetic, caring woman to talk to. 

Diane: Oh? Why, what's going on that she needs to talk about? 

Sam: Well she's going through a pretty rough divorce and uh- you know I don't think I'm the right guy to help her through this. 

Diane: (smiling) Well Sam, I think that's very noble of you. To recognize you can't handle something and ask for help isn't easy. I would be glad to talk to Rebecca and try to comfort her in any way that I can. In fact, I'm looking forward to having a friend- another woman I can coverse with and relate to, besides Carla. 

Sam: Well yeah I'm glad (Rebecca comes in) And hey you won't have to wait very long, here she is now. 

Diane: (turning around and smiling) Oh good. Good afternoon Rebecca, nice to see you today. 

Rebecca: (dropping her coat on the floor and walking over to the bar. She looks terrible and is on the brink of tears; very shakily) What's good about it? (she begins to cry) 

Diane: (looking confused and concerned) My goodness... Rebecca I can see you're hurting. 

Woody: (sincerely, not sarcastically) Really? How can you tell? 

Diane: (looking at him unbelievably for a minute but then not saying anything and turning back to Rebecca) Come on Rebecca, I can see you need to vent a little, let's go talk (she walks off into the pool room followed by Rebecca,, dragging herself slowly along). 

Sam: (still out in the bar) See, see that's what I'm talk about. You this is really gonna be a real thing, I'm glad they're both working here. 

Woody: Yeah, it would be good for you. You it would be good for _you._

__

__Sam: What's that supposed to mean? 

Woody: Well you know. You can have your pick of either one of them. 

Sam: What? Woody I don't know what you're talking about. 

(Woody stand in front of Sam who is standing with his back to Norm and Cliff. They're frantically motioning to Woody not to say anything, shaking their heads and waving their hands. Woody looks past Sam at them and looks confused for a second before realizing what's going on then mouthing the words "Oh okay" very obviously. Sam spins around quickly and Norm and Cliff smile sweetly at him.) 

Sam: Okay, okay cut it out. What's going on guys? 

Norm: Okay Sammy, we might as well tell you. 

Sam: Yeah, yeah that's be good. 

Norm: Me, cliff and Woody made a little bet about you, Diane and Rebecca. We bet on who you would pick to be with. 

Sam: Oh guys that's disgusting. C'mon you know I'm done with both of those two. 

Norm: Okay, but we'll see Sammy. 

Sam: Yeah whatever guys (he shakes his head and walks into his office) 

MEANWHILE, IN THE POOL ROOM 

(Rebecca is laying on the pool table sobbing) 

Diane: (patting Rebecca) Oh come on now, nothing can be that terrible, tell me, what is it? 

Rebecca: Yes it can ( sobbing again). 

Diane: Rebecca you can tell me. I have a knack for solving other people's problems. 

Rebecca: (getting up) Okay. 

Diane: Good (she hops up on the table sitting next to Rebecca) Go ahead. 

Rebecca: (very shakily and in her usual whiny voice) Well this morning was you know just like any other day. The boys and I- 

Diane: And who are "the boys?" 

Rebecca: My kids, Matt and Tyler. 

Diane: Alright continue. 

Rebecca: So we got up and today is their day to be with their dad, you know we're divorcing. 

Diane: Mmmm-hmmm. 

Rebecca: So we drove over to his new apartment and went up to his place and- (she starts to wail again, throwing herself down and burying her head in her armss) 

Diane: (quite and comforting)Rebecca you must finish telling me what happened if we're going to make any progress. 

Rebecca: (from her arms, muffled) Yeah you're right. (getting up and sighing) Well I got to his apartment and another woman answered the door. She was gorgeous Diane, amazingly beautiful. 

Diane: So what did you do? 

Rebecca: Well I did what any good, kind respectable mother would do. I shove my boys in the door and ran as fast as I could down to my car and bawled my eyes out for 20 minutes. Which brings me to now. An now Sam won't even acknowledge me. 

Diane: (thinking it over and nodding) Well I can certainly understand why you're feeling and reacting the way you are. Wait- what about Sam? 

Rebecca: Oh Sam's been acting so... awkward since... well the other night. 

Diane: (knowing what happened but still asking) _What_ happened the other night? 

Rebecca: Well, we... well... you know. 

Diane: (getting angry) He what!? Well before we go any further I have to go talk to Sam I'll be right back. 

Rebecca: On no Diane, it's really okay. I feel a lot better just getting it off my chest. Thank You. 

Diane: Oh it was nothing. I'm glad I could be of help to you (she leaves as the camera fades out). 


	11. Chapter Eleven: Confrontations, of all s...

Bar Wars VIII: The War Within 

Chapter Eleven: Confrontations, of all sorts. 

(Diane walks angrily out into the bar throwing open the door to Sam's office and slamming it behind her) 

Diane: (very angrily and loud) How could you!? 

Sam: What? 

Diane; How could you sleep with Rebecca when you know what she's going through. Sam that is the most irresponsible, detestable, abhorrent- 

Sam: Hey, no wait Diane, you gotta understand she threw herself on me, I was uh- helpless. 

Diane: Sam. How could you? I am so disappointed. 

Sam: Oh no no no. Don't say disappointed, anything but disappointed. My parents always said that when I'd get in trouble. "I'm disappointed" 100 times worse than just yelling. 

Diane: Well Sam I _am_ disappointed. I just don't see how you could be so insensitive and take advantage of her like that especially when you claim to be her friend. 

Sam: I know I know Diane, I'm sorry it won't happen again. 

Diane: It better not. But thank you (she turns to leave) 

Sam: Hey, no, no wait a minute there. 

Diane: (turning around) _What?_

Sam: I didn't claim to be _your _friend did I? (smiling devilishly) 

Diane: (just rolls her eyes and walks out Sam shrugs his shoulders and sits down at his desk.) 

OUT IN THE BAR 

(Diane comes out of Sam's office walking over to the bar) 

Diane: (to herself but loud enough so that Norm and Woody can hear) I just can't believe that. How could Sam do a thing like that? 

Woody: A thing like what Ms. Chambers? 

Diane: Oh, uh, nothing Woody, it's not my place to say. 

Norm: Oh c'mon Diane if you said it you obviously want to tell somebody, what is it? 

Diane: (looking hesitant at first but then telling them) Well, talking to Rebecca back there, she said that- well she said 

that she and Sam "consummated their nonexistent relationship" if you will. 

Norm: Oh I see. So it's true then. 

Diane: (looking surprised but not quite in a good way) You heard about this? 

Norm: Well, yeah there's been a rumor or two. 

Diane: The people in this bar!!! Can anyone have a sliver of privacy around here? (she begins to walk angrily away mumbling under her breath) 

Norm: Well you know Diane, the only reason why he did it was because he was missing you. 

Diane: (stopping dead in her tracks) What? 

Norm: Yeah, yeah since you've been gone Sam's been moping around a lot. Playing sappy love songs, stuff like that. (Woody looks at Norm confused. Norm puts his finger to his lips nodding and winking. Woody nods, for once understanding.) 

Diane: Is this true? 

Woody: Oh yeah, just don't let on you know, keep it on the down low. 

(Diane opens her mouth to say something but stops for a minute thinking about what Woody just said before shaking it off) 

Diane: Well I'm sorry that my departure caused Sam so much agony but what once was between us is gone now, has been gone for quite some time in fact. He's just going to have to live with his sorrow. 

Norm: Okay Diane. 

(she walks away but you can tell by the look on her face that she's thinking about what they told her) 

BACK IN THE POOL ROOM 

(Rebecca is wiping her eyes and still trying to collect herself as Cliff walks in coming out of the men's room) 

Cliff: You know Rebecca, I couldn't help overhear you and Diane talking in here, and uh- I just wanted to say, you don't have to worry about Sam not liking you. 

Rebecca: (still shaking a bit) What're you talking about Cliff? 

Cliff: Well, yeah Sammy likes you Rebecca. But you know Sam, you gotta play it up a little make him go for you. 

Rebecca: Cliff that's not true, Sam will go for anything that breathes. 

Cliff: Yeah, yeah that's true but Sam's just so used to you saying no, and he doesn't want to jeopardize your friendship, 

all that sentimental crap. Just uh- think about it okay? 

Rebecca: Yeah thanks Cliff, I will. 

(Cliff walks out and Rebecca follows, getting back to work.) 

Cliff: (coming out from the pool room and sitting down at his stool talking to Norm and Woody) Easy as cake. 

Norm: What is Cliff? 

Cliff: Well I just told Rebecca Sammy _likes_ her. 

Norm: _Oooooh_

Woody: You know I feel kind bad about doing this to them. 

Norm: Well Woody it's gonna happen eventually, we're just speeding up the process. 

Woody: Yeah and it's _really_ fun. 

Norm: That it is Woody, that it is. Now can you put a head on this beer please? 

Woody: Sure thing Mr. Peterson. 

(Woody begins to pour Norm a beer and Diane walks by as Rebecca walks into Sam's office) 

Norm: (to Diane who's passing by) Hey Diane you better hurry up, Rebecca's beating you to him. 

(Diane simply rolls her eyes and continues on, although she does look _slightly_ more concerned) 

IN THE OFFICE 

Rebecca: Hi Sam. 

Sam: (smiling in a playful sort of way) Oh hi honey. 

Rebecca: So uh- what're you up to? 

Sam: Oh nothing much, just trying to figure out how to work the spread sheet thing. 

Rebecca: Oh well I know how to do that, I could uh-help you- that is if you want me to. 

Sam: Yeah, that'd be nice. 

(she comes over leaning over him and teaches him how to work it) 

a couple minutes later 

Rebecca: So then you just press enter and you're done. Oh and don't forget to save. 

Sam: Yeah I won't. Thanks Rebecca, this really helped me out. 

Rebecca: Sure no problem (smiles sweetly) 

(Rebecca walks out as Diane walks in) 

Diane: (as she's passing Rebecca) Rebecca 

Rebecca: Diane. 

Sam: (turning around to face Diane) Oh hey, what's shaking? Come to be _disappointed_ in me again? 

Diane: (not listening to him) _What_ was that? 

Sam: What? 

Diane: What was she doing in here? 

Sam: Helping me figure out this spread sheet. 

Diane: Hmph 

Sam: Listen Diane I'm kind of busy here, what do you want? 

Diane: Oh I just wanted to say I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier today. You and Rebecca are adults, you can do whatever you like. 

Sam: Well, thank you. Apology accepted. 

(he turns around continuing to work on the computer and Diane still stands there, Sam notices she hasn't gone yet.) 

Sam: (spinning around again) _What?! _

__

__Diane: Well....I just wanted to tell you .... that..... 

(Sam gives her a look that says "I'm waiting") 

Diane: Well, you just are so wonderful for hiring me back here. If it wasn't for you I don't how I'd manage. Thank you. (she ends looking at him very sincerely. Sam looks at her, getting up and walking over hugging her) 

Sam: Of course, it was nothing. I'd uh- do anything for you. 

(they both let go and they both smile at each other. They continue staring at each other for a few moments. They ever so slowly begin to move closer and close until their lips meet, just as perfect a fit as ever before.) 

Diane: (after finally letting go) Oh my goodness. 

Sam: You can say that again (he leans in for another). 

Diane: (stopping him) No, we're not going to rush into anything. Not with everything that's happened in the past, our past. Now I'm going to go back out there. I'll see you later. (she breaks away and walks out, closing the door behind her. Sam crosses his arms thinking hard as he lowers himself to sit on the couch. The camera fades out as he leans back.) 


End file.
